Thursday, June 4, 2009

Superman Saves the Kids, and Gets the Ladies.

Welcome one and all to Superman #3! This post is going up a day early as I won't have time to write it tomorrow.

The issue begins with a little boy climbing from the window of his orphanage and bidding it adieu. The child has a newsboy hat placed at a jaunty angle atop his blonde head, a bindle slung over his shoulder, and is accompanied by a black and while spotted dog. This should be a quick way of telling the audience "you are going to hate this obnoxious child's precocious manner". Unfortunately this comic isn't much for characterization, so we can't expect too much of anything from this kid. Shucks, I really wanted to hate him too!

The kid walks along some train tracks until he passes out from the heat. Fortunately for him this sparsely populated wasteland is Clark Kent's chosen route for his daily walk to the city's biggest newspaper office. Huh, I guess "Metropolis" was named in an ironic sense, rather than descriptive.

Ladies and gentlemen: Downtown Metropolis.

I wasn't lying about Clark's presence being fortunate, because it just so happens that a train is barreling down the very tracks that this adorable scamp has passed out upon. Clark transforms himself into "the dynamic man of tomorrow. Superman!" and races the train to its deadly destination. Saving the boy at the last second (when else?) Superman leaps to someplace else entirely leaving the train and its passengers to breathlessly discuss his daring rescue.

Talking to the boy Clark Kent learns he passed out due to hunger - he hasn't eaten in days! Having inhaled some "swell feed" at the local diner, imaginatively named "LUNCH", the boy makes to head back on his aimless journey.

At this point I can't help but notice his dog is nowhere to be seen. In fact, I just checked every upcoming panel in this story and it seems it never shows up again. They don't even mention it, it's just gone. The unstated implication here is rather gruesome and I think I'm just going to be depressed throughout the rest of this summary now.

Somehow life goes on, and Clark asks the boy to hang around to he can ask him a few questions. Here we learn that the boy is named Frankie Dennis, that he ain't got a home, and there's no way he's going back to the state orphanage. Frankie tells Clark that the superintendent feeds the children slop, hires them out as cheap labour, and makes them scrub floors for hours on end.

Of course Clark offers his assistance, but on one condition: Frankie returns to the orphanage and acts as Clark's inside man, reporting to him on any of the superintendent's unjust acts. You know what Clark? Sometimes a crafty scheme just isn't necessary! The kid already has reported the unjust acts to you, now it's your turn to do something! But nah, Clark's right. Returning a runaway to an abusive authority figure couldn't possibly be dangerous.

Upon their arrival at the orphanage superintendent Lyman bursts out the front door and immediately grabs Frankie by the collar while shouting non-specific threats. (See? See!?!) Clark, forgetting he's a pussy, grabs the man by his shoulder and tells him to stop. At first Lyman is indignant, but upon learning of Clark's press credentials quickly softens his demeanor and attempts to convince the reporter of his benevolence. Clark leaves, wondering which of the two is a liar: Frankie, or Lyman? Come on, what an idiot! The guy is named Lyman! Like, duh.

Returning to the Daily Star office, Clark asks Lois to join him for lunch and is rather harshly rebuffed.

Lois Lane does not fuck around when it comes to turning losers down.

As you can see in the above image, editor in chief George Taylor calls Clark into his office where he tells Clark to cover the daring rescue of a child from an oncoming train that occurred earlier that day. It's funny, you see, because Clark, are you ready for this? IS Superman! This "joke" shows up in some form or another in every story, surely it will never get old!

Clark tells the chief his suspicions about the orphanage, and suggests he be allowed to cover the story... with Lois' help. Chief agrees, and Clark chortles to himself about how clever he is to have found a way to work with Lois. I'm starting to understand why she hates him so much.

As they hit the street together Lois turns to Clark and says "I'm going with you only because I'm forced to -- and don't you forget it!" Clark smugly responds "What difference does that make? As long as we're -- alone?" And THAT is how you woo a lady.

But it turns out they aren't alone after all! A pair of reporters from a rival paper make the scene and ask our intrepid pair about the story they are currently chasing. Not wanting to lose their scoop, Lois tells them she and Clark are simply out for lunch. The reporters don't buy this at all, but they back off anyway. As Lois & Clark set off toward the orphanage their taxi is tailed by the rival reporters. Noticing this Lois has the cabbie swerve down an alleyway, shaking the tail once and for all.

Or so they believe! Shortly after Clark rings the building's doorbell the other two reporters pull up, gloating obnoxiously about their dirty tricks. Unable to convince the men that the story to be found here is entirely uninteresting Clark and Lois are forced to to work alongside them. Clark continues to ring the doorbell, but is met with no response.

The above image is of Lyman, the evil superintendent. How's he gonna get outta this one!?

And where's Frankie, is he dead? Like his dog?? Probably!

Find out on Monday!

Tweet this.

No comments:

Post a Comment